Issue No. 1: The Inaugural Issue

Ausgust 8, 2019

Hello.

I have attached an inaugural press release for this inaugural newsletter. In it, you will find all the information you need to write a news article about this email, if you so choose.

Now for some fine print. I use that term loosely, because I am going to keep the same font size, but here goes:

In this newsletter, I will be exploring various topics and ideas. The newsletter will not have a consistent schedule or theme, and I reserve the right to quit the newsletter at any point in time. You may forward the newsletter as you see fit. Newsletters may or may not contain images, gifs, flashing and/or strobe lights. Consult your doctor before signing up for newsletters if you have a history of seizures. If you ever want to unsubscribe from the newsletter, no hard feelings. Just send a brief note to unsubscribe@sarahdavis.net explaining why you want to hurt me like this and where your heart went.

Just kidding, I don't own sarahdavis.net. Sarah Davis does. She's an artist, the parallel universe version of me who followed her dreams. But you know what? Most of her art is pretty mediocre. Don't tell her I said that, though. I think she's in my Facebook group.

Ah yes, the Facebook group! One of my earlier self-involved initiatives was to create an online community for women named Sarah Davis, called The Sarah Davis Society. I befriended many women on Facebook named Sarah Davis (much like never-nudes, there are dozens of us) and invited them to join the group and share stories about meeting people with the same name, how great it is to have an 'H' in your name, how marriage may or may not affect your name, and so on.

I don't know why I'm sharing this here, though, because no one named Sarah Davis has subscribed to my newsletter (yet) so no one reading this can access the exclusive, Sarah-Davis-only content in the Facebook group. I'd link it, but it's private. Too bad for you!

In a similar vein of narcissism, the inaugural date of the inaugural* newsletter is August 8th, my half birthday! So that means you have six months to figure out what you're getting me. I don't want a pony. Do not get me a pony.

Thank you for being here, I look forward to harassing** you soon.

All my love and until next time.

Sarah

*Don't get to use that word very much, gotta live it up.

**Harass backwards is Ssarah, another cool Easter egg of narcissism in this email.